I am either losing my mind or I am a genius…

Tonight Hubs and I put the 3 older kids to bed at 7 like we always do. (the three of them are currently sharing a room since we are in a two bedroom house and are locked into a lease, if you remember when we made our big move out to Manitoba we didn’t have much for options and took the first house we got, which came though mere days before we left New Brunswick. Thankfully, they are big bedrooms.) Most nights they lie in their beds, talk and play and are asleep by 730-800. I can deal with it. They aren’t too loud, I don’t need to go in there three hundred times. We are all happy. BUT. The last few nights… gah… they yell, they scream, they jump around, they fight, they dance… they in general just go crazy. Hubs and I take turns going in there… Starting with gentle reminders to lie in bed, go to sleep… then escalating to raising our voices and yelling. Which we are trying really hard not to do. And for the most part we are doing great with our quest to not yell. But bedtimes were getting absurd. So tonight I decided to do something different.

Tonight when they started getting absurd we tried the gentle reminders. I could see us both getting really frustrated by 730 sensing we were in for another long night. So I went into their room. I turned their light on. I said ‘it’s not bedtime anymore. You guys are obviously not going to go to bed like I asked. Please get up and go play with your toys.’

They looked at me like I lost my mind. So did Hubs. He whispered to me that I was either really smart, or really crazy. The kids weren’t sure what to think. ‘Let’s go’ I prompted and ushered them out to the living room where I pulled out some cars and started playing. They looked scared. I was trying not to laugh.

At 800 Alex said ‘Mom, I think it’s bedtime. It’s dark and the clock is pointing at the 8’ I replied ‘Yep. The clock says it’s bedtime. But Mom says it’s not’ ‘You mean we don’t get bedtime tonight?’ ‘Nope. You guys can stay up all through the night’ Him and Nick looked devastated.

At 815 I turned off all the lights except a lamp. I sat on the couch with a couple books and started reading. Zoey came over and snuggled up to me to listen. Soon Alex and Nick came over too. After a couple stories Nick asked if he could go read them in his bed. Alex looked afraid of my answer. I told them yes. They could each bring two books into their beds. I brought them back to bed and tucked them in (it was about 840) I heard from them once since then.

I don’t think 700 is going to work as a bedtime anymore. I am going to push them to 730 tomorrow and see what happens. Maybe I’ll even get lucky and they will start consistently sleeping later then 7am. Then I can really call myself a genius. Right?

Love, hugs and more to come later
Lynn

When kids don’t sleep

Lately I have been in bed by now. Sleeping. For over an hour. But instead my wonderfully cranky, teething toddler decided that he was going to boycott sleep today. Good times. We put all three kids to bed at 7. As usual. They go to bed at 7, I go to bed at 915. Everyone is happy (ish) at 6 am when we get up for the day. Tonight, Alex went to sleep within 10 minutes, as usual. Zoey was sleeping within 15 minutes, as usually. And Nick… Well Nick was still crying and fussing about 10 minutes ago when Hubs had enough and decided to load him into the van and drive around the block a few times to put him to sleep. 

I don’t know what is up with that kid, none of our usual tricks were working. Tylenol, cuddles, rocking chair, Momma and Daddy’s bed, milk… Nothing. Was. Working. I hope the van ride is working. I’m tired. 

What do you to help your children sleep when they are having a rough night? 

Love, hugs and more to come later!
Lynn

The Curse of the Sleepless Children

I haven’t posted anything in the last few days. There is a perfectly acceptable reason for this. My kids have been fighting their naps, and not sleeping at night either. 

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Alex stopped napping ages ago. At 15 months. So I don’t expect him to nap. But Nick naps. Everyday. For 2-3 hours. Until a couple days ago. 4 days ago, on Sunday he decided not to nap at all. On Monday he napped for 90 minutes. Tuesday 30 minutes. Today was an hour. 

Seriously. He. Needs. His. Naps. A cranky, whiny 18 month old is not in any way shape or form my idea of a good time. 

Zoey is four months old. Napping is like… mandatory. But she seems to think that a 5 minute nap is all she needs. So she naps 5 minutes every 2-3 hours. And to get her to sleep is a battle. It doesn’t matter where she sleeps. Even if I am holding her. She sleeps 5 minutes. Unless we are in the van. Then she will sleep, but gas is effing expensive and we can’t spend 4 hours a day driving around so that she sleeps. 

Bedtime is a party in our house. Alex needs, NEEDS, 12 hours of sleep a night. He NEEDS it. NEEDS. 6-8 hours a night, is not working out well for him. At all. Or for me. He is a hot mess when he doesn’t get 12 hours. 

Nick gets about the same amount of sleep. Same with Zoey. They all used to sleep 12 hours. (Well Zoey slept for 5 and then 7 hour chunks with a bottle between them) 

The worst part… they go to bed like angels. At 7 the boys to go bed and go right to sleep. Hubs and I go to bed at 10. At 11 they are up. All three of them. Until 2, 3, 4 in the morning. Then they sleep until 6. At which time they are up for the day. I am freaking EXHAUSTED. 

Sleep seems to be a constant Motherhood complaint. /sigh/ Tomorrow is a new day. It will be better. If I say it enough times, it will come true. Right?

Love, hugs and more to come later

Lynn

A Poem to End the Mommy Wars

I seen this poem on Huffington Post and I loved it so much that I wanted to share it here. I didn’t write it, and none of the credit for it is mine. It was written by Kim Simon, and you can see the original post here.

 

It’s 10 p.m. in my house, and the kids are both asleep.
The tiny one is swaddled, and finally breathing deep.
My 4-year-old is tucked in tight, his blanket on his head.
I’m typing away by the glow of the screen,
though my body is pleading for bed.
You see it’s almost midnight, and that’s when the games begin.
My baby wakes up starving to death, and smiles his gummy grin.
I whip out my boob before he can scream, and he curls up on to my chest.
I close my eyes and start to drift…
I rarely remember the rest.
But one thing’s for sure in the dead of the night, when I’m nursing by the light of my phone.
I stare out the window and I imagine you’re there,
and I know that I’m never alone.
So this is your personal invite, to the party that I throw in my head.
It’s nice to think that there’s mamas like me, and that no one is comfy in bed.
See, when my baby spits up and it lands in my bra, I know that yours just did the same.
You might be in Utah or Kalamazoo, and I’ll never discover your name.
But you’re out there like me, with your babe in your arms,
and you pray that he won’t make a sound.
When you get up to transfer him back to the crib,
and his binkie falls onto the ground.
His wail fills the air, and you let out a curse,
yet Daddy still snores like a train.
Moms can get by on just three hours sleep,
but The Daddy will always complain.
There are millions of mamas like me and like you,
who are doing the night-feeding dance.
Every three hours we cuddle our babes,
even as they blow-out their pants.
There’s a dance that we do, all the mamas and I,
a dance that’s known only to us.
It’s a sway to the left and a bounce to the right,
when the baby is starting to fuss.
It’s a pace down the hall and a rock in the chair,
a song whispered ever so slow.
We share the same rituals and bedtime routines,
so I think that you already know…
That it really won’t matter if you bottle it up
or if milk sprays right out of your chest.
We’re all feeding babies with love in our hearts,
while praying for a little more rest.
So pull out your boobies or measure your scoops,
Relax in your comfiest chair.
When you’re fed up and flustered or just tired and mad,
look outside and you’ll know that we’re there.
You can find us on Facebook when we comment on posts,
we put pictures on IG and Twitter.
When the baby’s still up and won’t settle back down,
we’ve been known to search Etsy for “glitter.”
The books like to say that the magic will come
at 6 months or 9 months for most.
But until then, we’ll search for tired mommies like us,
who leave comments on Huffington Post.
There’s strength in our numbers,
the Moms of The Night…
We’re weary, we’re hungry, we’re up ’till it’s light.
We’re hardcore, we’re shopping, we’re living the dream.
We’re slipping, we’re fading, we’re ready to scream.
We’re drowning in onesies and burp rags and toys.
We’re loving the heck out of our girls and boys.
But mamas get tired and pushed to the brink,
we leave laundry unfolded and dishes in the sink.
So cut us some slack if we still lose our shit,
we’re warriors, we’re troopers, and we’ve vowed not to quit.
This feeding thing is hard though we’re doing it well.
With nipple shields, pumps, and some lanolin gel.
We use formula, breastmilk, bottles and pads.
We’ll do anything possible to nourish our lads.
We’re the same in the long run, no fighting allowed.
We’re all doing our best, we deserve to feel proud.
Now it’s almost that time when my oldest wakes up.
He needs water, a hug, “No, that’s not the right cup!”
And as soon as he’s snuggled right back in his bed,
the baby wakes up ’cause he needs to be fed.
So I’m off to the trenches but I’ll see you real soon,
Remember the mamas all share the same moon.
So swaddle your babies and then raise your glasses,
let’s cheers to the motherhood kicking our asses.

 

I hope you enjoyed the poem! 

 

I guess I’m a bad Mom. Also I know where the dance party came from.

This evening I was cruising through Facebook checking things out and I learned 2 things. First I learned I am a bad mom. And the I learned where Alex came up with the dance party he wanted to have last night. (If you missed that, you can read it here) The two are related. 

First off, every night when I put the kids to bed, the routine goes something like this diaper changes, stories and cuddles, and then I lie them down in their respective beds and turn on their TV and DVD player and let them watch their movie until they fall asleep. (Normally this takes all of 10 minutes) Apparently this makes me a bad Mom. Good moms don’t let their kids watch TV while they are going to bed. Good moms don’t even put TV’s in their kids bedrooms. In fact, good moms turn off all sources of electronics at least 1 hr before their kids go to bed so that they fall asleep faster and sleep through the night better. But wait. My kids used to take upwards of 2 hours to fall asleep before I put their TV in their room. AND my kids would wake up numerous times a night. (they might still wake up, but if they do they aren’t up for long and they don’t wake me up) 

Honestly, if it means I can sleep and my kids are sleeping better, I can deal with being a bad Mom. It’s perfectly okay with me. 

Oh yea, and the dance party thing. Lately at bedtime and naptime the boys have been watching Shrek. Turns out that when Alex lies down in the afternoon, he wakes up as the credits are rolling. At the end of the credits is Shrek and Fiona’s Karaoke Dance Party. I learned this today when I heard him moving around and went into the bedroom before he came out on his own. He was bouncing on the bed and as soon as I walked in he excitedly told me he was having a dance party with Shrek and the Princess.  

What do you think? Is making the choices that get you labelled as a ‘bad mom’ worth it when it works for you and your family? 

Love, hugs and more to come later

 

Lynn

No. We are not having a dance party at Midnight. No.

Last night was one of the worst night we have had in a long time. Of course it was. The timing fits perfectly to have a night like that. The night before last night, hubs and I decided that we are going to cancel his appointment for his vasectomy. Don’t get too excited. We haven’t decided that we are going to have another baby, we just decided that we don’t know if we want another just yet. So of course, opening the door to a fourth child, we would have an absolutely horrid night. (Don’t worry,  I have a coffee here with me and I am gleefully drinking it while I write.)

So last night at 7pm both of the boys were sleeping. And Zoey started crying. She cried until 8pm. At 8 she fell asleep. At 815 she started crying again. On and off until midnight. Gas is a wonderfully amazing thing. We tried everything with her, gripe water, burping, changing, feeding, changing positions etc etc etc. Around 1145 the boys woke up. Of course. Zoey wasn’t crying anymore and she was finally falling asleep.

Since neither of the boys wanted to lie down in their beds, I brought them to my bed to cuddle (and destress) So while the three of us were lying in the bed (Daddy was still rocking Zoey) Alex suddenly sits up and says ‘Mom, dance party?’ The conversation went something like this:

me: ‘huh?’

A: Dance party mom (starts wiggling around) C’mon Nick, dance!

m: um, no guys. We aren’t dancing. It’s bedtime.

A: oh. No bedtime. Dance party.  (both the boys are still wiggling around dancing)

m: (lying them down again) no guys. It’s bedtime, if you can’t lie nice in momma’s bed you are going to go back to your own beds.

A: thanks Mom (which is his way of ignoring what I am saying to do what he wants anyways, saying your welcome to random thank you’s never ever ever ends well with this child…. but I was tired)

m: You’re welcome?

A: Dance party! Oh great!

m: No. Alex. No. We are not having a dance party. Both of you lie down. Nick stop dancing.  It’s midnight. Go to sleep.

A: Alex awake.

m: No. Alex is sleeping.

A: Oh great!

 

It went on like that for a few more minutes until I finally put the boys back in their own beds and Zoey fell asleep so we could go to sleep too. It was a long long night that ended way too soon. The last thing my oh so romantic husband said to me before I fell asleep? ‘So how about that vasectomy?’ How about it indeed.

 

Love, hugs and more to come later

Lynn

Sleep

Growing up, I was always told that sleep is important. I needed to go to bed early so I would have the energy to get through the next day. Growing up and early into adulthood, anytime I was tired I would go to bed early, sleep late, nap and essentially do anything I needed to in order to not feel tired. I didn’t need coffee to wake me up/keep me awake/give me the caffeine boost to get through the day effectively.

Fast forward to today. Today I am currently on my second cup of coffee (its 130 in the afternoon, so it’s not that bad!) Today I am lucky if I sleep for 3 hours without one of the kids waking me up. Today I am lucky if I spend a total of 6 hours in my bed on any given night. Going to bed at 1130pm is early for me. Getting up at 7am is sleeping in. Today I have a trio of monsters who like to take turns getting up all night. (Normally, one of them will sleep amazingly through the night while the other two keep us up on and off) 

I will admit, that right now, I am tired and it is my own doing. I wanted to drive halfway across the country to visit family. And I am the one who chooses not to drive, leaving the 40 hour drive to hubs to do. And in exchange I get up with the kids all night for a few days before we leave, while we are travelling, and for a few days after the fact. But, now we are in Winnipeg, the drive is done. And I am tired. 

Right now I just want to sleep. Sleep until I can’t sleep anymore. And then sleep just a little bit longer so I am ready to tackle this Momma-hood thing again. Because, right now, I just don’t know how I am going to make it through another hour, let alone the 7 hours until bedtime. Coffee just isn’t cutting it today. Image

 

Love, hugs and more to come later

Lynn