Conversations with Alex – Where babies come from

Alex and I were talking about our family. We had just finished talking about how we have a Momma, a Daddy, 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Then we had this talk:
A: Oh no!
M: what’s wrong?
A: I have one brother and two sisters!
M: yes….
A: I need two brothers and two sisters, Mom you have to have another baby! Can we get another one from your tummy?
M: No, sorry bud, there’s no more babies in my tummy.
A: Let’s go to Walmart!
M: Why?
A: Because we can buy a small tiny baby and when you are sleeping he can climb in your mouth and go all the way down down down to your belly. And then you can eat and sleep and eat and sleep and eat and sleep and the baby will grow into a brother and then the Dr can take him out and then I can have two brothers and two sisters.
M: um… I’m not sure that’s quite how it works…
A: Well we can try!
M: um.. Well… Ill tell you what, next time we’re at Walmart if they are selling little brothers Ill think about it. But I don’t think they sell people at Walmart sweetie.
A: I’ll keep trying Mom.
M: okay bud.

And there you have it… The real truth of where babies come from.

Love, hugs and more to come later

The Turning of a Page

Alex is going to be 4 next month. Nick is going to be 3 in four months. Zoey is 18 months old. Emma is 10 weeks old. My babies are growing and changing and getting older. It’s kind of got me thinking about me and what comes next now that I’m done child bearing.
I’m loving being home with my babies, I love teaching them and growing with them. I love planning fun things to do with them and I love experiencing things with them.
I love our slow carefree days. I love that I’m the center of their universe, and they’re the center of mine. I love being a stay at home mom.
But. My body is no longer the vessel sustaining them. My body is mine. This time its mine forever. Hubs got his vasectomy. We’re done having babies. My body is mine. So now I’m on a journey to be happy with my body. I kind of am, I don’t really mind the stretch marks. Or the sagging. Or the extra weight. But I don’t really want the sagging or extra weight to be around forever either. I want to be fit. And healthy. So this is me committing to be a healthier me. I’m going to start the 17 day diet next week (Ill post links to some info on it in my next post, I’m on my phone right now and can’t do it from here) I’m going to post my measurements. And I’m going to hold myself accountable. I’m looking forward to my journey. I hope my journey inspires someone else to make some healthy changes and be the best them they can be.

Love hugs and more to come later

A Poem to End the Mommy Wars

I seen this poem on Huffington Post and I loved it so much that I wanted to share it here. I didn’t write it, and none of the credit for it is mine. It was written by Kim Simon, and you can see the original post here.


It’s 10 p.m. in my house, and the kids are both asleep.
The tiny one is swaddled, and finally breathing deep.
My 4-year-old is tucked in tight, his blanket on his head.
I’m typing away by the glow of the screen,
though my body is pleading for bed.
You see it’s almost midnight, and that’s when the games begin.
My baby wakes up starving to death, and smiles his gummy grin.
I whip out my boob before he can scream, and he curls up on to my chest.
I close my eyes and start to drift…
I rarely remember the rest.
But one thing’s for sure in the dead of the night, when I’m nursing by the light of my phone.
I stare out the window and I imagine you’re there,
and I know that I’m never alone.
So this is your personal invite, to the party that I throw in my head.
It’s nice to think that there’s mamas like me, and that no one is comfy in bed.
See, when my baby spits up and it lands in my bra, I know that yours just did the same.
You might be in Utah or Kalamazoo, and I’ll never discover your name.
But you’re out there like me, with your babe in your arms,
and you pray that he won’t make a sound.
When you get up to transfer him back to the crib,
and his binkie falls onto the ground.
His wail fills the air, and you let out a curse,
yet Daddy still snores like a train.
Moms can get by on just three hours sleep,
but The Daddy will always complain.
There are millions of mamas like me and like you,
who are doing the night-feeding dance.
Every three hours we cuddle our babes,
even as they blow-out their pants.
There’s a dance that we do, all the mamas and I,
a dance that’s known only to us.
It’s a sway to the left and a bounce to the right,
when the baby is starting to fuss.
It’s a pace down the hall and a rock in the chair,
a song whispered ever so slow.
We share the same rituals and bedtime routines,
so I think that you already know…
That it really won’t matter if you bottle it up
or if milk sprays right out of your chest.
We’re all feeding babies with love in our hearts,
while praying for a little more rest.
So pull out your boobies or measure your scoops,
Relax in your comfiest chair.
When you’re fed up and flustered or just tired and mad,
look outside and you’ll know that we’re there.
You can find us on Facebook when we comment on posts,
we put pictures on IG and Twitter.
When the baby’s still up and won’t settle back down,
we’ve been known to search Etsy for “glitter.”
The books like to say that the magic will come
at 6 months or 9 months for most.
But until then, we’ll search for tired mommies like us,
who leave comments on Huffington Post.
There’s strength in our numbers,
the Moms of The Night…
We’re weary, we’re hungry, we’re up ’till it’s light.
We’re hardcore, we’re shopping, we’re living the dream.
We’re slipping, we’re fading, we’re ready to scream.
We’re drowning in onesies and burp rags and toys.
We’re loving the heck out of our girls and boys.
But mamas get tired and pushed to the brink,
we leave laundry unfolded and dishes in the sink.
So cut us some slack if we still lose our shit,
we’re warriors, we’re troopers, and we’ve vowed not to quit.
This feeding thing is hard though we’re doing it well.
With nipple shields, pumps, and some lanolin gel.
We use formula, breastmilk, bottles and pads.
We’ll do anything possible to nourish our lads.
We’re the same in the long run, no fighting allowed.
We’re all doing our best, we deserve to feel proud.
Now it’s almost that time when my oldest wakes up.
He needs water, a hug, “No, that’s not the right cup!”
And as soon as he’s snuggled right back in his bed,
the baby wakes up ’cause he needs to be fed.
So I’m off to the trenches but I’ll see you real soon,
Remember the mamas all share the same moon.
So swaddle your babies and then raise your glasses,
let’s cheers to the motherhood kicking our asses.


I hope you enjoyed the poem! 


Our fight with Eczema

I hate eczema. I wish I could make it go away forever. I have dealt with mild eczema for as long as I can remember, but mine doesn’t bother me too much. I know my triggers, I avoid them and when I choose not to avoid them I suffer the consequences that I brought on myself. However, I hate hate hate hate seeing Alex suffer. Since he was about 3 months old I have been battling a constant battle with his eczema. I am proud to say that today he no longer breaks out the way he used to. But it was a journey and a half and I feel like I should share it, on the off chance anything that worked for him might help someone else.

So like I said, it started up around the time he was 3 months old. At this point the only thing he was consuming was his formula. I took him into his Dr, which is where the confirmed diagnosis of eczema was made. It was on his face, his chest, his arms and his back. A dry itchy rash that made him a crank. The Dr told us he may or may not outgrow it and prescribed a cream for it (a steroid cream we were told to use as short term as possible as it’s not the greatest for his skin and would slowly thin out his skin… made me feel GREAT about using it.) So we used it until the rash cleared up and stopped. About a week after we started it cleared up. After it cleared up, we thought we were in the clear for a little while. It was a couple weeks before it flared up again. But this time when it flared up, I realized it happened at the same time I noticed he was cutting a tooth. I figured they might be connected. When he flared up again, I really didn’t want to use the prescription that we were given as I didn’t like the idea of using something I was told would thin his skin out. It seemed a little counter productive to me to weaken his skin when he was already having skin issues. (Maybe I didn’t fully understand how the steroid cream worked, but  that’s how my brain processed it) So I talked to another Dr. He told me that I could use an over the counter hydrocortisone cream that would be easier on his skin and should do the same thing as the steroid cream, but might take a little bit longer. He also recommended oatmeal baths.Oatmeal baths and the hydrocortisone cream worked well for him for awhile, but I noticed that his skin would dry out super super easily and as soon as his skin started drying out, the eczema would flare up. And it wasn’t only when he was teething. All of a sudden what I thought was a super simple solution wasn’t so simple.

Out came super organized Momma. The momma who likes to make lists and document things. I started a journal. What he ate, where he went, what he was around, what touched his skin, when he bathed, when he broke out etc etc etc. It was tedious. But. I figured it all out. I learned that tomatoes being on his skin (ie ketchup) caused him to break out wherever it had been touching for more than a couple minutes. I learned that fresh cut grass, dog/cat hair, bathing more than twice a week, using any soap other than aveeno shampoo and body wash, using any laundry soap other than purex free and clear and so many other things caused him to break out. But there weren’t a lot of things that seemed to be helping him. Enter my amazing step mother in law. On a trip down to the states she seen that Aveeno had an eczema baby cream that was labelled as being new. Not sure if it was something that we had tried she grabbed a bottle of it and threw it into Alex’s stocking. At this time Alex was a year old.

So we started using this cream. It was AMAZING. It cleared up the rash he currently had, and by applying it every day before bed his outbreaks became fewer and further between. I was so excited. So I started looking for the cream. It was ONLY available in the states. Go figure. Enter the amazing step mother in law again. On another trip down to the states she grabbed me four more bottles. I was lucky. By the time I started running out again, it was available at Walmart in Canada.

Today Alex is 2.5 years old. He can still only bathe 2-3 times a week or else his skin dries out like crazy. He still gets a mild rash if I don’t wash his face right after he has ketchup. Freshly cut grass still irritates him , and a million other things do as well. But, the rashes are few and far between. And if I forget for a couple days to rub him down with cream he doesn’t scratch his skin apart. He still suffers from dry skin, but I haven’t seen an actual eczema rash in a couple months. It makes me proud as a Momma to know that I am able to control the eczema for him so he is more comfortable. I am also glad that he now comes and tells me when he is itchy and wants cream instead of scratching himself to the point of bleeding. I guess he’s a quick learner and knew the scratching hurt and the cream would make him feel better!

Love, hugs and more to come later


Helloooo Anxiety!

So I am sitting here on the couch while hubs puts the kids to bed and Zoey sleeps about 3 feet from me, thinking about doing laundry and I can feel my anxiety levels rising. Sounds kind of silly that my anxiety is rising over laundry, but let me finish and it will all (with any  luck) be clear that it’s not the laundry making me anxious, it’s the sorting and getting rid of stuff that is.

Zoey is officially out of her newborn sized clothes. And into 0-3 month sizes. So while I am folding laundry, all of her NB stuff is going into a box to be dropped off at a friend’s house tomorrow. Her stuff is going to a good home, I am not worried about it being taken care of. There is really no sentimental attachment to any of it. Most of it she only wore once. But. It means I am never going to dress any of my babies in those itty bitty clothes again 😥 (I don’t know if I mentioned it, but Hubs is going for his vasectomy in August, and barring some absurd twist of fate, we are done producing offspring!) My babies are growing up fast. And that makes me sad. I want to hold onto her

The real anxiety strikes though when I am boxing up my maternity clothes. I have pre pregnancy clothes that fit me (most of the ones from pre-Zoey do and some are even getting too big on me!) So it’s not that I won’t have anything to wear. But.. has anyone ever notice how awesomely maternity pants hide the little bubbly pooch of stretched out skin that tends to just muffin top with normal pants? Am I the only one self conscious enough to even notice? I know that I should love my body for what it is, and what it has done, and most times I do. In fact, I even joined a Facebook group dedicated to loving the postpartum body! And, as people keep pointing out to me, I am only 1 month postpartum and I can’t seriously expect to have my pre-baby body back. But for some reason, having people be able to see that my body isn’t perfect is causing me a lot of distress. It seems like such a stupid thing to get anxious about, but it seems like there is so much emphasis on how we look that I can’t help but have it consume me.

I seriously thought about keeping a pair or two of maternity pants, but I can see my husband being curious about why I did, and somehow I don’t think my explanation about feeling too fat for normal clothes is going to cut it for him. (Don’t get me wrong he is an awesome guy, he just isn’t really into letting me allow my anxieties to control me, which I can rationally say they would be if I continued wearing maternity pants when I don’t need to be) I guess I can take this as extra motivation to eat healthy, exercise a little more, and drink more water. And of course, continue trying to embrace the pooch of stretched out skin as a memorial to the amazing things my body went through to bring my 3 gorgeous babies into the world!!

Love, hugs and more to come later!