Today has been a rough day. Emma is teething and only happy when Momma is holding her, otherwise she screams. She is fighting her naps and is miserable. Zoey is also teething and having a jolly time irritating her brothers. Alex and Nick needed naps today and wouldn’t take them. They are easily instigated. I didn’t get enough sleep. I am short on patience and Hubs isn’t here.
So I was rocking Emma and finally got her to sleep. I tried to put her down, no sooner did I get her put down and settled, Zoey grabbed a toy from Nick, Nick screeched, knocked over Alex’s toy in his tantrum and Alex screamed in anger and decided to push Zoey. Who started crying. Which woke Emma up. Again.
I sighed. I hung my head almost in tears and muttered to myself ‘that’s it. I quit. I’m not cut out for this. I can’t do it. I’m done. There is a beach somewhere. With alcohol. Ill go there. Ill sleep. Ill embrace the quiet.’
Alex came over and said ‘but mom, we would miss you. Please don’t leave’
Me: I wouldn’t really leave baby. Momma’s just frustrated’
A: cause we woke Emma up again?
M: sort of, don’t worry about bud, Mom’s got this. Okay?’
A: okay Mom, I love you.
M: I love you too baby.
Then almost the exact same scenario played out. Only this time Alex hit Nick (I’m not sure why) and Nick kicked Zoey who bit him back. Again, all 4 were screaming and crying.
Me muttering: I’m so done. I quit.
Nick: mooooooooom oooowwwww
Me: yes I know. Zoey bit you, it hurts.
M: come here I’ll kiss it better
Nick comes over, ‘mom, kiss me?’ I kiss him better, he says thanks and says ‘I love me mom’ (which is his way of saying I love you’ I tell him I love him too and he goes to play.
A few minutes later Emma is asleep again. I’m about to put her down, but Zoey has a doll in her chair. I figure Ill put her in the swing, doll there too. I know that the second I put her in her bed she’ll wake up. So I ask Zoey to move her doll. ‘Be seep’ (baby sleeping)
M: I know but I need to Emma down
Z: Ma seep?
M: yes, Emma is asleep
Z: night night Ma
I put Emma down, and the kids are still quiet. Soon Alex comes over to snuggle. While he’s in my lap he says ‘Mom… Don’t quit. We need you too much. Dad does it wrong’ right after he says this he hops down and goes to play with his brother and sister. Helping Nick build his tower and reminding Zoey ‘shh, Emma’s having a nap’
Oh my sweet boy. I would never quit. These kids teach me more everyday about love. And patience. And how the tough moments never last long.
Love, hugs and more to come later