On Sunday I decided to disappear. It was a decision long in coming. And while it’s only been 48 hours since I made the decision I can already feel the positive effects on my life.
On Sunday I deleted my Facebook account. This was met by a lot of different reactions. Some people reacted saying that they want to do the same but can’t because of XYZ. Some people were upset and wanted me to keep my Facebook so they could continue to watch the kids grow. Others just wanted to know why and wouldn’t accept any of the reasons I was willing to give them.
There were a lot of things that lead me to my decision. The biggest was that I am, quite simply, over it. I’m over the pretending. The vague posts for attention. The sympathy posts. The posts that offend people. Needing to censor myself. Fakebook. I am over Fakebook. I can’t post to Facebook that I am having a bad day, that my depression is rearing its ugly head and my kids are being impossible. I did once. It was met with negativity. Not support like I had though from my friends and family. I can’t even control who I have on my Facebook! When I deleted family members who were being negative and unsupportive it created drama until I gave in and added them back!
My reality is this: I struggle. I have depression. I have a husband who has Chronic Pain Disorder, Depression and Anxiety. I have four children. One of my four children is Sensory Sensitive and is being assessed for Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder. We also just adopted a puppy. We have good days and we have bad days. Sometimes our house is messy. Sometimes it’s spotless (for like… 30 seconds)
I am glad I got rid of Facebook. In just 48 hours I can already see the positives:
- All those minutes I spent scrolling through Facebook. I am spending them with the kids. Cleaning. Reading books. Those minutes add up!
- All the stress I had from peoples opinionated comments. Posts. Messages. People having no filters because they were behind a screen. You don’t realize how stressful it is until the stress is taken away.
- No judgement. As much as I always claimed that I didn’t care what people thought about me and what I posted, I did. Would people laugh at what Alex just said? Would people find it funny that Zoey just drank her ketchup off her plate with a straw or will I be judged a bad parent. Maybe I shouldn’t share that I am exhausted that the kids have all been taking turns getting sick for the last 5 weeks and I haven’t had more then 4 hours of sleep a night.
- Now I am focusing on me and my family.
I know none of that seems huge. But for me it is. I feel happier already. Just 48 hours in. I can only see it getting better!