It’s all fun and games until…. someone breaks a bone…. 2nd edition

On August 16th I wrote a post with the same title. You can go read it here. Basically I had written about  how I was play fighting with the boys and Alex jumped on me. I caught him wrong. I hurt my wrist.

This time it’s a little different.  But here’s the story.

Yesterday Alex had his first day of kindergarten. He goes in the morning from 850 until 1130. He came home. Ate his lunch. And then asked if I would snuggle him for awhile. Hell to the yes I would.

So we were lying in bed snuggling. Alex sat up for a second to talk to Hubs. When he was done talking he lied back down. By lied back down I mean he threw himself back down.

He landed on my face. The Crack was heard by everyone.  As was my screech. 

My poor baby feels so guilty. I tried to hide how much pain I was in. But my nose. Oh. My. Word.  My nose. The pain. The blood. The swelling. The bruising. The black eye…. aaah.

Accidents happen.  It’s not his fault. It’s no one’s fault. And I’m glad it was me and not one of the kids. It was a good lesson on being careful. But.  I’m serious. A broken nose hurts.  So. Bad.

Now I’m sleeping on the couch. 1- I can’t sleep flat to avoid the increasing the swelling and causing bleeding. And 2- I’m pretty sure if Hubs or the kids bump my nose during the night I’ll die.

Alex has decided that even though he goes to bed in his room he’s going to keep me company and move to the other couch sometime during the night.

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He is such a sweet boy. I love him so much. 

According to plan

Things never ever ever go the way they should. I should know this.  But I still manage to be caught off guard.

Two weeks ago Hubs had a Dr’s appointment. They confirmed his condition  is getting worse. The Dr speculated he would never work again. 

This past week Hubs was pulled out of school and now things are being set in motion to label him as permanently disabled. 

Hubs is having a hard time wrapping his head around this. As am I to be honest.  He’s only 29. It seems so unfair.

We’re looking into homeopathic treatment now to help with the pain and progression. Veterans affairs won’t cover it. But we’ll find a way to make it work.

My question to you: do any of my amazing readers have any favorite websites or books I can use to find information  on homeopathic treatments for chronic pain and nerve damage?

I hate to see him suffer. I hold out hope that there is something out there to help him. I found a lovely massage therapist who specializes is nerves willing to take him on. 

I feel so confused anynynd disjointed. I wish I could help him more but I don’t know how.

Emma turned 1!

I cannot believe that my baby is a full year old. I am mind boggled. My baby.  My last baby.  Who scared the hell out of me by coming a full month early and spending some time in the NICU. My stubborn baby had a hard time gaining weight and didn’t like to eat even after leaving the NICU. My pudgy baby who is now an average sized one year old. Who is walking. And talking.  And waving. And clapping. And sleeping. And gaining weight.  And growing. Ah! Where has the time gone?!?

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Oh my beautiful Emma-Rose. You are such an incredible little girl. You are the perfect ending to our not-so-little family. You are stubborn hard headed and more then capable of holding your own with your brothers and sister. You came into our lives in the midst of turmoil and chaos and have brought so much happiness to us all. You are always smiling and happy. I look forward to your hugs and kisses and hearing your sweet voice call momma when you wake up. You’re going to do amazing things in this world my sweet girl. I can’t wait to watch you accomplish your dreams. Daddy and I love you so much.

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A New Chapter

Next week Alex starts kindergarten. I have a really hard time wrapping  my heart around it. In my eyes he’s still my little blue eyed, blond haired, roly poly baby.

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It takes a lot of faith in myself to let him go to school. To walk away from him everyday. To know he’s ready. 
Have I taught him enough?  Coddled him too much? Socialized him enough? Am I strong enough to put on a brave face and not show him how scared I am to let him go.

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I know he’ll be fine. Deep inside I do. Deep down I know that there are thousands of mom’s feeling just as I am. Deep down I know that he’s ready. Hubs and I have done all we can. Now we need to let him spread his wings a little bit.

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This boy was my first. My first child. He puked on me first. Walked first. Called me momma. Hugged me. Him and I will always have a bond that’s a little different then the other kids. Him and I did a lot of trial and error together that the other kids got to avoid.

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The last almost 5 years have gone so fast. It’s hard to believe it’s already time to take this step. He’s excited. He’s ready. He’s ready because I’ve invested my time and energy into him. He’s ready because I’ve helped him be ready.

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We’ve had so many adventures together. But this one is his. I always enjoyed school. And I hope he does too. I hope he makes friends and I hope he accepts people who are different. I hope he isn’t bullied but more than that I hope he isn’t classified a bully. I hope he’s challenged but I he doesn’t struggle.

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I hope he doesn’t lose himself trying to fit in. I hope he has the strength and courage to stand up for what’s right. I hope he knows we’ll love and accept  him whoever he becomes. That his dad and I made bad choices too. That we’ll forgive his.

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I can’t wait to see who he becomes. How he’s going to grow. I can’t wait to see his pride in himself when he figures out a hard math problem.  Or masters reading.

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I wish we weren’t at this milestone yet.  But here we are. I need to let go a little bit. To demonstrate to him how to be brave. To not let him see my cry. To show him I’m proud of him. To keep the pain of him growing up to myself.

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Let your light shine my sweet little boy. To me you’ll always be my blue eyed, blond haired, roly poly baby.

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