I haven’t blogged in a while. I just haven’t had the mental space to do it. I’m struggling to stay afloat and it sucks. Depression is a nasty bitch.
We moved last week from a 2 bedroom into a 3 bedroom. The extra space is amazing. Or at least it will be when we are done unpacking and organizing stuff.
Emma turns one in 12 days. Alex starts kindergarten in 13 days. This has got me thinking about the little moments. I’ve been trying to be more mindful of the small things.
Like when Alex comes into the room to tell me that he loves me before he turns around and runs back to play.
Or when Emma tries to walk and falls on her bum giggling.
Or when Nick gets excited because he wrote his name. Again. On the wall. In permanent marker.
Or when Zoey tells me she needs to snuggle for a minute because she is tired.
Or when I wake up in the morning to all four of them crawling all over me in my bed wanting to snuggle.
I love my babies. I do it for them. And I will get myself back from this depression. I know I can do it. I just don’t know how.
Right now I am working on being more mindful. Of the little moments. Of what influences my mood. Of how quickly the kids are growing and changing. Of how delicious my coffee is.
Coffee. The key to my calm. Especially right now. Emma is napping. The three older kids are quietly watching a movie. And I am drinking a coffee. I love these moments.
Love hugs and more to come later!