I left for three months. It’s not that long in the grand scheme of things. But the last three months were full of so much stuff! So many things went on!
Right after I left a close friend of mine had a baby. The first since I’d had Emma. I was excited to go see her and the baby but I was scared too scared of all the emotions that would come along with it. The baby fever.
But. That didn’t happen. I held her beautiful baby girl. I breathed in the baby smell. We talked about baby things. And I realized something.
I realized I don’t want another baby. No part of me yearns to be pregnant. No part of me yearns to do the newborn stage again. And part of me feels empty because of it. But a bigger more consuming part of me is relieved.
I have four beautiful babies. And I am totally happy with that. My family is complete.
Love hugs and more to come later