W(h)ine and cheese

I wish this post was about the wine you pour into a chilled glass and sip and enjoy while your stresses slowly melt away. But this post is about the other kind of whine. There is cheese though. So that’s a bonus.

This morning I got up with the kids at 8. I was feeling pretty good. 8 is better then the usual 630!! We got up and I made them breakfast, got their apple juice, and turned on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. That was an hour ago. They haven’t stopped whining since. ‘My waffle is too hot’ ‘Zoey’s touching me’ ‘I don’t want to go pee’ ‘my apple juice is cold’ ‘I want cheese and crackers’
Being sick of the incessant whining from all 3 of them, I gave in and gave them cheese and crackers. It worked. They were all eating quietly.
Until Zoey ran out of cheese on her plate. Then she quietly eased over to Nick and swiped a piece of cheese off his plate. HOLY EFFING MONKIES ITS WORLD WAR THREE. Over a piece of cheese. The tantrums!! Its insane!!!!!! Nick pushed Zoey, Zoey bit Nick. I sent them to their room. Biiig mistake… They share a room. Hahaha… That wasn’t a mommy win.
Now Nick is watching tv while sitting on the couch. And screaming his head off anytime Zoey is within 2 feet of him. Zoey, the wonderful child she is, thinks this funny and is purposefully inching closer and closer until he screams. After a morning full of whine, my night better be full of wine.

Love, hugs and more to come later

Trying to be patient….

I am not a patient person. By any means. I hate waiting for anything. Having four babies has taught me a lot about patience, and I am learning to be more patient, or at least hide my impatience from them. And I guess I do a pretty good job hiding how impatient I am since I am continually complimented on my patience when I am out with my kids.
However there are moments like now where I find it increasingly difficult not to absolutely lose my mind. Alex and Nick have spent the last couple days fevered. Random fevers on and off, a little lethargic but otherwise pretty normal. They haven’t been sleeping as well as normal, but it hasn’t been to terrible. Well today the fevers are gone and I’m left with 2 tired cranky boys. And Nick is teething. Tonight Nick has woken up four times. This last time he was complaining (again) that his teeth hurt. So I offered him Tylenol. He didn’t want any. Fine by me. But then he proceeded to lie in bed yelling and crying his teeth hurt. TAKE THE DAMN MEDICINE. Seriously. But no. He’s stubborn and refuses too.
So I’m lying in his bed with him. Listening to him yell. While I blog. Because I can’t touch him or he screams louder. And I won’t leave the room because he’s in pain. And won’t take the effing tylenol.
I’m trying not to get angry at him. But its midnight. I’m tired. And he’s already woken Zoey up. Because he’s yelling. Because his teeth hurt. And he won’t agree to take the medicine. But we’re getting through it together.
I love this child. He is the sweetest. Especially as he wraps his arms around my neck, kisses my cheek and closes his eyes.
Momma loves you baby boy.

Love, hugs and more to come later

Getting back to me

This post is one I’ve been putting off. I haven’t written it or posted it because I am afraid of hurting feelings. I have a few close friends who read my blog and I don’t want to offend them. So to avoid doing that, I haven’t been blogging. But not blogging isn’t fair to me. I started this blog to be an outlet for me and somewhere along the way I got caught up in caring about what other people thought of my blogs content. Caring about how others would react. But not anymore.
As of right now this blog is reverting back to its original purpose. Back to being my outlet. Back to acting as something of a journal for me. A safe place for me to express myself. Because right now, I need that. More then anything. I’ve been bottling up my feelings because I feel like I have nowhere to turn.
Outside of my husband and family, I have no friends I can talk to. My friends here aren’t used to having me around day to day and I feel like I can’t relate/open up to them and my friends out east… Well… I’m not there for the day to day anymore and I noticed it was taking longer and longer to get replies to my messages so I guess I’ve kind of stopped trying as hard.
I’m going to start blogging more. About the things that matter to me.
And as a stay at home mom to 4 babies under 4 and a wife to an ex military member coping with a permanent injury it might not be that interesting.

Love, hugs and more to come later

Remembering the Firsts

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about firsts. As a mom firsts means things like first smiles, first tooth, first steps, first words, first Christmas, first birthday, first day of school.
First friend. First boy/girlfriend. First date. First kiss. First job. First heartbreak.
We seem to focus a lot on firsts. I heard someone say today: ‘you always remember the first and last. Its the stuff in between that gets forgotten’ I don’t know what the person was referring too as I heard it on tv while channel surfing. But it stayed with me.
Is it true? Do we only remember the first and last? Do we not place importance on the in between?
Is the in between just the drudgery we need to get through to meet our goals?
As parents, are we enjoying every day we can, or are we looking towards the goal? Are we going to remember the day to day ordeals of our lives? Do we want to? Why aren’t the ‘usual’ days as important as the days when something unusual happens? Or are they? To us as individuals maybe they are, maybe we just don’t talk about them for fear of boring others.
I don’t know why that line is staying with me. But it is. And its made me realize I like the drudgery of my days. And I’m going to start doing something to make each day a little more unusual and a little more memorable.

Love, hugs and more to come later

Mountains and Molehills

A while back I posted about being torn about putting Alex into nursery school or keeping home until next September.
After writing the post and talking to a couple people, I decided to keep him home and let him set the pace. It was working out well for us. Until about a week ago.
Last week Alex started asking about when he could go to school. Daily. Telling everyone he spoke to he would be going to school ‘soon’.
So I have decided to let him go. And I’ll be honest… I feel like I’m scaling an emotional mountain.
I’m so excited and scared for my baby. And sad that I’ve been his mom long enough for him to be ready for school.
I’m sure one day when I look back this will simply be a molehill, but today its a mountain.

Love, hugs and more to come later

All About Emma

In January 2014, Hubs and I were surprised to find out we were pregnant with a fourth baby. We weren’t planning on having anymore, but it was definitely a welcome surprise!

My first trimester was full of heartburn, mild morning sickness, dizziness and exhaustion. My second and third trimesters weren’t any better, and in fact constant hip/back pain was a very unwelcome addition. I had no idea if we were having a boy or a girl (even though I had guessed with the other pregnancies) The two boys pregnancies were almost identical and Zoey’s was the opposite of them, so everyone tease that since this pregnancy was so different again, and because I started showing so soon after getting pregnant that I was probably expecting twins. (eek!) Alex however was adamant right from the beginning of my pregnancy that he was going to have another little sister.

On May 7, we found out that Alex was right! He was going to have another little sister!


At 28 weeks, there was one evening that I was getting very regular Braxton Hicks contractions and I also lost part of my mucous plug. I was scared, but my Dr reassured me that everything was fine and it was normal, especially since this was my fourth pregnancy and they were all close together. He also mentioned (again) that I wouldn’t make it to my due date but he was sure I would make it to term, even if just barely.

When I was 35 weeks pregnant I went in for a prenatal appointment (Tuesday Sept 2) I told my OB that I was feeling off. I had been getting Braxton Hicks for a long time, but these felt different. She did an internal exam and assured me that although I was 2 cm dilated it didn’t mean anything and there was nothing to worry about. I was not in labor and she would see me in two weeks. On Thursday (Sept 4) at 7pm my ‘Braxton Hicks’ were 5 minutes apart and some of them really hurt! But I was convinced it was nothing. I took a warm bath, a tylenol and tried to sleep. By Saturday (Sept 7) the contractions were 3.5 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds. I was still refusing to go into the hospital, sure I was going to just be sent home and told it wasn’t labor. After all, I was only 36 weeks. At about 11am I was getting the kids dressed and ready to go to my parents house. All of a sudden I felt a small gush of fluid as I was getting up from the couch. My mom and husband convinced me at that point to go in and get checked out.

When I got to the hospital the nurses agreed that I was leaking fluid but couldn’t get a positive on the test to confirm my waters had broken. So they monitored me for awhile and confirmed that I was in labor and got me up and walking around. At 4pm I was 5cm dilated and the contractions were starting to get stronger.

At about 8 pm my contractions had stopped. The Dr decided to start Pitocin and I opted to get the epidural since I hadn’t slept in a couple nights and I had a feeling I was in for a long night ahead.

At 3:50 am, the Dr did another internal and I was still 5 cm. He determined at this time that there was a bulge of water beside the babies head and so he popped the bulge to release what was left of the amniotic fluid. (At this time it was confirmed that my waters had indeed broken the day before based on the amount of water that was left)

After the Dr popped the bulge of water things went fast. At 4:30 I was feeling the urge to push and at 4:40am Emma-Rose Agnes made her debut!


She was 7lbs 2oz and 19.5 inches long. After being checked over it was determined that even though she was considered late pre-term she was healthy and wouldn’t need to go to the NICU.

Over the next few days, we struggled to get her to take in enough food. By the time she was 72 hours old she had lost more then 11% of her birth weight. Her pediatrician decided she was going to need to be put on a feeding tube which meant she needed to be placed in the NICU. Shortly after she was placed in the NICU her blood work came back and her jaundice levels were increasing instead of decreasing.


She was placed on the lights to treat her jaundice for 24 hours. After 24 hours her levels dropped low enough to be taken off the lights and our biggest issue was getting her to eat from a bottle.

On September 15, after 5 days in the NICU she was able to come off her feeding tube for a trial run to see if she could consume enough to come home with us. On September 16, at 9 days old (and weighing just 6lbs 4 oz), we were finally able to bring Emma home! It was an amazing feeling!!


Today Emma is almost 4 weeks old. She is 7 lbs and 13 oz!

Love, hugs and more to come later!

picking my battles

One thing I’ve learned since becoming a Mom and especially now being a mom of four is the importance of picking my battles with the kids. If I wanted my way over everything I would never enjoy myself and I would be constantly stressed.
Which is why when my two year old dressed himself to go to the bank, I congratulated him on getting ready all alone and focused on getting the girls ready. Even though he was dressed like this. Yes, that is one sandal, one rain boot and his summer hat. And pjs.

Love, hugs and more to come later!