I have been thinking a little bit over the last couple days about writing Emma’s birth story… But then I don’t feel like her birth story has ended yet. She is born, in fact she is a week old. But she isn’t home with me. She’s still in the NICU. She is healthy, overall. Her jaundice is all cleared up. Which I am glad for. But she still isn’t feeding herself enough through the bottle to come off the feeding tube. She is getting close. Last night she even took a whole feed from the bottle and didn’t need her feeding tube at all. Then her next feed she only took half of her feed from the bottle. I am trying to stay positive, I mean half a feed through a bottle was her best feed a few days ago, and now it’s her worst. And like I said, she is only a week old. She would’ve been term yesterday. I have learned a lot in the last week about late preterm babies. I know that I am lucky that her only issue is feeding.
Going back and forth to the hospital is exhausting. I am trying so hard to balance me between time there with her and time here with the other kids. While I am here I am distracted thinking about her, and I feel guilty. And while I am there I am distracted thinking about the kids here and I feel guilty. I can’t wait to have her home with me. I don’t know that balancing four kids is going to be easy, but I am sure it is going to be less complicated!
This post seems a little disjointed, but I am going to post it anyway. I feel disjointed. Emma’s birth story will follow, when she is home and her life story with us begins. Until then, any thoughts and prayers that she is home with us soon are more then appreciated.
Love, hugs and more to come later