Embracing the Chaos

My life is CHAOTIC. But. I am loving every single second of it. Or at least most of them 🙂

I will post more soon, when I have two hands, a little space and some time!

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Love, hugs and more to come later!


Home sweet home

She’s home!! I am so glad to be able to say that. Bringing Emma home today was the greatest feeling ever.
Her brothers and sister absolutely adore her, and she is completely unbothered by the noise they produce while playing!
We’re still tracking her feeds and she needs to go back in to be weighed weekly (or as often as the dr determines necessary) until the dr is happy with her weight gain, but she is home! Sleeping soundly 3 feet away from me.
Thank you to everyone for the well wishes and positive thoughts, reading your comments gave me strength!

Love, hugs and more to come later!

When does the birth story end and the life story begin?

I have been thinking a little bit over the last couple days about writing Emma’s birth story… But then I don’t feel like her birth story has ended yet. She is born, in fact she is a week old. But she isn’t home with me. She’s still in the NICU. She is healthy, overall. Her jaundice is all cleared up. Which I am glad for. But she still isn’t feeding herself enough through the bottle to come off the feeding tube. She is getting close. Last night she even took a whole feed from the bottle and didn’t need her feeding tube at all. Then her next feed she only took half of her feed from the bottle. I am trying to stay positive, I mean half a feed through a bottle was her best feed a few days ago, and now it’s her worst. And like I said, she is only a week old. She would’ve been term yesterday. I have learned a lot in the last week about late preterm babies. I know that I am lucky that her only issue is feeding.

Going back and forth to the hospital is exhausting. I am trying so hard to balance me between time there with her and time here with the other kids. While I am here I am distracted thinking about her, and I feel guilty. And while I am there I am distracted thinking about the kids here and I feel guilty. I can’t wait to have her home with me. I don’t know that balancing four kids is going to be easy, but I am sure it is going to be less complicated!

This post seems a little disjointed, but I am going to post it anyway. I feel disjointed. Emma’s birth story will follow, when she is home and her life story with us begins. Until then, any thoughts and prayers that she is home with us soon are more then appreciated.

Love, hugs and more to come later