Struggling through indecisiveness

There is a lot going on in my head right now. From being 33 weeks pregnant, to everything we need to do to complete our transition to a new province. But the biggest thing weighing on me is Alex.
Being that he was born in 2010 he is supposed to start nursery school in 3 weeks.
Nursery is a part of the public school system in the division we are in, but it isn’t mandatory. Originally I had been unsure about putting him in because of all the changes in his life right now. Big move, new house, new baby…. A lot of stressors on me, a grown woman, let alone a 3.5 year old. But we had decided that since he seemed so excited about school and he has been BEGGING to go for over a year we would let him go. Maybe the distraction of a half day nursery program would be good for him.
But then we moved. Things have changed a little since we moved that make me wonder if we’re making the right choice by enrolling him right now. Things like this conversation prompted by him pushing Zoey for the ten millionth time in a day:
M: Alex, why did you push Zoey?
A: because I’m bad.
M: you’re not bad. You’re a good boy
A: no! Alex is bad!
M: why?
A: because bad boys can’t go to school.

Or this conversation with a friend:
J: Alex are you excited to go to school in September?
A: (screaming) No! I am not going to school in September! *followed by him running into his room*

So… This leaves me torn. Is he truly just not ready? Is there too much going on right now? Should I simply home school him through nursery/preschool and put him in for kindergarten? Is it going to be detrimental to him to force him to go to school when he is clearly upset about it? Or. Am I sending him the wrong message by letting him achieve not going to school by acting out? Will going to school actually benefit him more then staying home for another year?

Hello rock. Hard place. Nice to see you again.

Love, hugs and more to come later!

4 thoughts on “Struggling through indecisiveness

  1. i teach 4 and 5 year olds, and often eat lunch and have recess with the 3 year olds as well. each family and each child is different, and hard to know exactly when they’re ready. the main thing about the preschool level is practicing social/emotional skills, interacting with others, sharing, negotiating, taking turns, learning how to be a friend. what you’re describing sounds like a little guy who may be nervous about something new, another change, in light of all of his recent life changes, and a bit of worry.jealousy about the new baby replacing him at home. maybe try signing him up and see how he does, and if he struggles, pull him out and wait until kindy. either way, just try to make sure he has other peer interactions during this year, at school or not. don’t worry, you won’t do him any harm, and he may end up loving it, but it sounds like he’s just feeing emotional and insecure right now, and that’s all normal. ) beth

    • Thanks Beth 🙂 that helps a lot. One thing I was considering was a couple preschool programs through the library etc without actually enrolling him in school. I have a couple weeks to decide, but I worry that putting him in and pulling him out might send the wrong message to him.

      • i think that might be the perfect solution for now, until he matures a bit and gains some confidence in himself and all of the new part of his life. he’d still be getting the interaction and soc/emot skills he’d need and it would give him an activity and place to look forward to.

        i agree about the pull out, just meant that if it was a really bad fit for now, no reason to suffer through a year.

  2. I’m sorry to hear that you’re in such a tough spot. I think you’re probably right and Alex is acting out because of all the new changes (and the one to come) that have occurred recently. You said that you still have a couple of weeks to decide, perhaps things will calm down enough in that period as Alex gets used to his new environment that he will go back to saying that he is excited about school. Hope everything works out for you. Take care.

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