The Monkey in the Middle – 2nd Edition

A little more then a year ago a wrote a post about Hubs family and how I feel they treat Nick and Alex differently and my feelings on the matter. You can read that here if you want to go back and re read it. 

Now that it’s been a year later, and I ‘discreetly’ made sure Hubs family remember ed Nick’s birthday in March (discreet… ha ha.. I was so not discreet, but I’ll get to that) I decided that I would post an update on how the last year has gone with his family in regards to our children.

Back at Christmas time when the kids were being given gifts, I have to be honest and admit that I was watching and paying attention to make sure the kids were being treated equally. And for the most part they were. But there was one key person who was not equal and fair in her gift giving and I have to admit I was surprised. This person (I really try not to name names when it comes to Hubs family, but it is making it complicated so a little background, Hubs parents divorced when he was young so he has his dad, step mom, mom and step dad. In this instance the person I am talking about is not his step mom 😉 ) Anyways. This person has always gone on and on about how she has always wanted a daughter and feels it was unfair she was given three sons and then two grandsons. So I thought for ure she was going to go overboard when it came to Zoey. But it turns out she didn’t at all. She, instead, got the boys a healthy amount of stuff and Zoey got one gift for her (and of course her name on our gift as a family)

This makes me sad. I guess Nick isn’t the only one being left out. I wonder if there is any connection to the fact that Alex looks like hubs while the younger two take after me?

Alex got more birthday gifts from her then Christmas gifts. But then that’s not really a surprise is it?

So after Christmas and Alex’s birthday, we moved closer and closer to Nick’s birthday. In an effort to avoid I discreetly very blatantly made sure to mention as often as I could that the big day was coming up. (This of course basically means that the one time I seen his family between Christmas and Nick’s birthday I was sure to mention it a few times)

Nick’s birthday. When it came to Hubs Dad and Step Mom, I was happy. It was fair. They came up to the house the day before Nick’s birthday and brought him a gift and visited for a bit. (Nick slept through it, but whatever) I was impressed. They were fair, they remembered, his gift was geared to his interests. It doesn’t get much better then that. It was a million times better then last year.

When it came to his Mom and Step Dad… well.. his Mom came up a week and a but after his birthday. I guess his step dad is still mad at Hubs (another story for another day) and he stayed home to watch TV, or fix the truck, or something. She brought Nick a ‘birthday’ gift. And brought Alex a few gifts. And brought Zoey a doll. And brought the boys a couple gifts to share. I can’t say I was very happy. I mean, yes she brought him a birthday gift, but isn’t the meaning a little lost when you bring more for Alex? Shouldn’t it have been the other way around if you were celebrating Nick? I don’t want that to be taken the wrong way. It’s not about the gifts. It’s about taking the time to recognize that this day is supposed to be about Nick. I don’t buy Alex presents on Nick’s birthday. And if I did it would definitely not be more then what I got for Nick. I get so frustrated with her obvious favoritism. And I am extremely saddened by the fact my kids refer to her as ‘Present Lady’

Next month is Zoey’s birthday. I don’t even want to think about the mess that might be. I am thankful that by the end of summer we will be living around my family. Where my kids are all treated as equals and no one is favored over anyone else. I am glad the kids are too young to really see it happening.

Love, hugs and more to come later!

2 thoughts on “The Monkey in the Middle – 2nd Edition

  1. That is really so sad! I can relate. My mom does everything for my little one, she excludes me at most times, but I don’t mind. She is there for my son. My in-laws on the other hand are different. Mom in-law is ok, but dad in-law didn’t attend our wedding, nor our son’s birth, nor his first birthday! It hurts me deeply, as well as my hubby’s but it’s not something you can force onto the person.
    I have made the choice to just live on through it, as much as it hurts. There are so much more people in our lives that care & attend my son’s events. It’s just sad that the closest people take all that for granted. You can’t take it back, it sticks like a stain.

    Hope things come right! xx 🙂

    • I don’t mind if I am excluded. I can shrug that off. I think I would be happier if all my kids were ignored equally. I don’t like favoritism.
      It is hard to live through the pain the frustration sometimes, but I find it helps to focus on the people who are there.
      🙂 I hope you can find balance with your Father in Law as well!

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