I am sure if I asked you to think of a derogatory term, you could list twenty that would make anyone cringe. But the one I am referring to today is probably one that you never think of as being truly derogatory. It’s one that I have written about before. Today, it was used in reference to me when I was asked what I was up to and I replied that I had just gotten home from taking the kids for a walk and then to do some shopping.
Doesn’t seem so bad, does it? Almost seems like it could be a compliment. It likely was meant as a compliment. But I was offended. Maybe I am being overly sensitive. Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones. Maybe it’s the stress of knowing Nick failed his speech assessment and hearing test today. Maybe I am being ungracious by not accepting this as a compliment and moving on. Maybe I am being absurd by even giving it as much thought as I have.
Or maybe I am perfectly entitled to my hatred of this term. Maybe I am perfectly entitled to believe that this term is derogatory. Maybe my reasons for feeling this way are 100% valid.
The term ‘Super Mom’ leaves me feeling like the person saying it is, in essence, being sarcastic. ‘Oh there goes supermom showing off how under control she has her kids while she is out walking with them all by herself’ In truth? I panic a little every time I take the kids out on my own. Can I do it? Of course. Do I do it? Yep. But I worry. What if one of them hurts themselves, what if someone decides not to listen to me, what if one of them runs out into the street… You get it. ‘Wow you have three young kids and you are pregnant again? You must be super mom!’ Do I even have to explain how that comment might make me feel? Express your true emotions, tell me I am crazy like most people do, so we can laugh together awkwardly and move on.
Moms are super. Moms are amazing. We do amazing things. Without us, the world would probably keep turning but it would definitely not turn as smoothly. Yes, I am capable of doing things with my three children that some women find daunting to do with one. Yes, I am busy. Yes I am stretched thin sometimes. No I am not Super Mom. There are days my house isn’t clean. There are days my kids eat Mc Donalds for supper because I am too tired/lazy to cook. There are days we stay in pajamas all day because I need to do laundry. There are days, like yesterday, I call my husband at work begging him to come home early because I just can’t do it on my own. I don’t do it on my own.
When someone refers to me as Super Mom, it’s like there is a big spot light shining down on all the things I do that aren’t that great. Being called Super Mom brings into focus all the way’s I’m not perfect. Maybe it’s just me who feels that way.. but it’s how I feel none the less.
I hate this term. Even if I am being unreasonable.
Love, hugs and more to come later!