Making the baby cry

I have been doing really well with the whole yelling at the kids thing (I know i don’t post much about it) But I have definitely been not yelling much more then yelling. I have been proud of myself. If I do raise my voice it’s typically because I need to get their attention now and I am panicked. (Such as when Alex was swinging a heavy toy around and almost whacked Zoey in the face with it and I wasn’t going to be able to reach him before it happened)

But this morning…. This morning was different. And I am ashamed of myself.

The boys are having a rough morning. And I am not feeling great this morning. Which is no excuse. But it’s the fact. Alex has been continually taking away the toy Nick is playing with which is leading to Nick throwing tantrum after tantrum. I have intervened I don’t know how many times. I have asked him nicely. I have redirected him. I have given him warnings. Time outs. I was at my wits end. He took the same toy from Nick for the third time in less then 5 minutes while I was trying to feed Zoey.

I yelled.

Loud.

It scared Alex. It scared Nick. It scared Zoey. All three of them were in tears. I was in tears.

I write this because I need to acknowledge it. I know I am not a bad mom just because I yelled at the kids. I know they still love me and they know I love them. I apologized to them. I explained again to Alex that he cannot take things from his brother and sister. It’s not nice. The kids and I had hugs and snuggles for a few minutes and then the boys went off to play again.

That was 20 minutes ago. Since then Alex and Nick have been playing  nicely together. I’m not saying that I did the right thing by yelling, but I am glad they get the point.

I still feel guilty.

Love, hugs, and more to come later!
Lynn

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