When kids don’t sleep

Lately I have been in bed by now. Sleeping. For over an hour. But instead my wonderfully cranky, teething toddler decided that he was going to boycott sleep today. Good times. We put all three kids to bed at 7. As usual. They go to bed at 7, I go to bed at 915. Everyone is happy (ish) at 6 am when we get up for the day. Tonight, Alex went to sleep within 10 minutes, as usual. Zoey was sleeping within 15 minutes, as usually. And Nick… Well Nick was still crying and fussing about 10 minutes ago when Hubs had enough and decided to load him into the van and drive around the block a few times to put him to sleep. 

I don’t know what is up with that kid, none of our usual tricks were working. Tylenol, cuddles, rocking chair, Momma and Daddy’s bed, milk… Nothing. Was. Working. I hope the van ride is working. I’m tired. 

What do you to help your children sleep when they are having a rough night? 

Love, hugs and more to come later!

Can I squish it out?

People find it odd that I share my pregnancy news with people so soon after I find out that I am expecting. “But Lynn” they say ‘What if you lose the baby?” 

First off, I know this is a possibility. It’s a possibility I’ve lived through. And I hadn’t told anyone I was pregnant. And it was hard. I think it would be easier with people knowing of my loss. Then people understand why I am acting the way I am and maybe can be a little more sensitive to that. I think it would be easier to have a support system rather then coming in after the fact with an ‘Oh by the way, I was pregnant but I am not any more, please understand why I don’t want to do anything with you right now’ 

When we announce our pregnancy is a choice we all make for ourselves. My choice was to tell people right away. Not to mention that I was so excited to find out, every single time, that I don’t think I could have kept it a secret if I wanted too! 

On that note, the kids know that we are having a baby. Well, as best as they can understand anyways. Nick and Zoey are more or less indifferent to it. Alex has a better understanding, although I wouldn’t say he understands. I was feeling a little nauseated after eating this morning so I lied on the couch. Alex felt he should come lie on me. Which was fine. Until he started jumping on my belly. Not so fine. 

So I explained to him that I didn’t want him to jump on my belly. The baby was in there and it hurt Momma when he jumps. His reply?
‘Can I squish it out?’
‘No Bud, the baby needs to grow and then the Dr takes him out’
‘I’ll squish it out. Then I can jump on you.’ 

Like I said… He has an understanding… but he definitely doesn’t understand!

Love, hugs and more to come later

T’is the way….

I am writing this post on Monday January 27. I don’t know yet when I am going to actually post it. I will though. I know I will. I want to share this with all of you.

As you know, Hubs and I have decided that we are done having babies. This was a rough road for me but about a week ago I decided to start doing things for me. I was on a quest to lose weight and get healthier. I was getting into good eating habits and starting to follow the 17 day diet. I lost 3 lbs and I was feeling amazing. I talked to Hubs and told him that I was more okay than I thought I was with the idea of the vasectomy and I was okay with our family the way it was.

And then it happened. I missed my period. I didn’t think too much of it at first, I’m usually very regular but I have been late once or twice before. After a couple days I mentioned it to Hubs and we decided to grab a couple tests. At the very least a negative would ease my mind and maybe relieve the stress of being late and I would start.

So I took one Friday afternoon. I watched the control line light up and there was no other line. After about 45 seconds Alex needed to pee so I threw the test in the garbage assuming it was negative. Thinking nothing of it, we went about our day. Later that evening for some reason I glanced into the garbage can and seen that the test had two lines now… Reading the box, it said any results after 5 minutes weren’t accurate. So I dismissed it, but decided to test again in the morning.

Well. Saturday morning I tested again (this time first thing in the morning) and there it was. Here it is. We’re going to be welcoming Baby Number Four into our crazy chaotic lives. How crazy is that?

Today is the 28th. I am about to post this. We have now told all of our parents as well as anyone else we wanted to tell in person. We have also tentatively chosen our baby names, how exciting is that?!? I am really glad that Hubs is not just okay with me being pregnant but is also excited about it! This baby is meant to be, and I am thrilled to find out I am expecting. 5 weeks in, 35 to go 🙂  

Love, hugs and (much) more to come later

Surviving without a nap

Hubs goes back to work a week from today. It’s an exciting and nerve wracking time for me. I am excited for him to go back to work and not be in my way and I am also a little anxious about it because it means I am going to be on my own with the kids for 9 hours a day. Which doesn’t seem like much, but when we have been doing it together for the last 8.5 months it’s a little scary. 

I know lots of people who do it, and I know I can do it too. It’s just a change and it’s going to be a new adventure. Just the three kids and I. And one additional little boy once or twice a week. 

The other part of this that is a little overwhelming is that Nick just decided he was done with naps, and Zoey has cut back to one nap. When Nick and Zoey were napping at the same time, I could catch a nap too. Alex was great and sitting on the couch and watching TV if I needed to close my eyes for a bit. But, now that’s no longer an option. And it tends to be an option I take when I am up with the kids throughout the night and/or they decide to wake up before 6 am. 

I guess coffee and I are going to get to know each other a little bit better! It’s always an adventure in this household. My babies are always growing and changing and I am always trying to adapt to that. 

Ah. The life of a stay at home mom!

Love, hugs and more to come later!

Explaining the Allusion

A little while ago I posted a haiku alluding to some pretty heavy stuff going on around here. I think the haiku was pretty explanatory but I decided that I am going to try and get some of my emotions out there. I am feeling really alone in this right now and it’s a tough road to travel. 

It’s hard to want something so badly and know I’m not going to get it. I love my kids and I am amazingly thankful that I have them. But there is this place deep inside me that knows we are meant to have one more baby. I look at my children and I look at our future and there is always one more. 

I was one of the first of my friends to start having kids and I am definitely ahead of the game when it comes to number of children and how close together they are. People think I am crazy, but I know it’s right for us to have our children the way we do. But, because all of my friends are either just having or just getting pregnant with their second children and still in the planning phase of their families it’s making it that much harder for me to let go of my dream of one more baby. 

I understand why Hubs doesn’t want anymore, he had many reasons that I am not going to write out here. They are his reasons and I respect that. I won’t guilt or force him into having another baby. It needs to be something he feels too. And he doesn’t. 

He knows that I want another baby, he knows that I stand behind his decision to get the vasectomy even though it goes against what I want. I don’t want to put us through the stress of waiting for my monthly gift every month when it’s not something we both want. I want to take the stress out of our relationship, and give us both the comfort that there won’t be an unplanned pregnancy. So I guess in a way I want him to get the vasectomy as well. 

But, I worry about this. Anytime we have disagreed on anything, we have found a way to compromise and make it all work out. This time around, there is no compromise, this time it’s about making the choice that is going to do the least damage. And that’s why I am making the hardest decision of my life and supporting my husband. 

I know a lot of people don’t agree with my choice to support him and for him to get the vasectomy. People think I am going to regret it. And maybe I will. But, I think him agreeing to have another baby and then regretting that choice is worse. 

Love, hugs and more to come later!

Conversations with my three year old

M: What’s so funny?
A: I stole your sanity Momma!
M: Oh. Yes. Yes you did. 
A: HAHAHA. Now I am going to steal your coffee. 
M: No. Please don’t. 
A: Yep. I am going to hide it. 
M: Alex. For real. Momma needs that. 
A: No. Momma. No. Don’t drink that!
M: Alex. I don’t think you understand. Momma needs her coffee. For real. 
A: Real like Santa?
M: Um. Something like that. Sure. 
A: Santa want’s your coffee. 
M: No. I want my coffee. I want to drink it. Without you trying to take it. 
M: Why? What’s wrong with my coffee?
A: nothing. Okay. You can have it. I’ll go play trains. 
M: Okay. 
A: Bye Momma. 
M: Bye Alex. 
*I start drinking my coffee while he walks away, then he comes running back, literally 3 seconds later*
A: Okay, I’m done. No more coffee. 
M: Alex, really, I need to drink my coffee. 
A: why?
M: I need sanity. 
A: Sanity isn’t coffee
M: What is sanity?
A: No sanity. 
M: Where is my sanity?
A: Alex, Nick and Zoey ate it. In your belly. Remember Momma? 
M: Of course. That clears it up. Thanks kid. 

A Momma Brag

I am really scared that writing this post is going to jinx me. But, I have 3 seconds right now while Hubs has the boys outside and Zoey is playing contently on her own. 

Alex is potty trained!!! Days at least. I am still planning on putting him in a diaper at night for awhile since he rarely wakes up dry. 

There have been NO ACCIDENTS today!!! Right now he is outside playing, without a diaper. 

I am so so so proud of my baby boy. 

In other news, Nick and Zoey are both off the soother.
Nick is sleeping very well in his big boy bed. (He had been for awhile but he regressed a little when we put him the playpen short term and he did not want to sleep anywhere but there) 
Alex is recognizes most of his alphabet, and Nick is starting to sing his. 
Now that Nick is off the soother (and this time I am NOT going to give it back to him, which is why I took both of them off it at the same time) he is starting to talk soooooo much more. 
Zoey is sitting up amazingly well now and she is getting pretty close to doing a traditional crawl. (she has been able to pull herself around in an army crawl for months now) 
Zoey is also getting better and better with her sippy cup! The way she is going she should be done on the bottle soon! She is also saying Dada, Baba, Mama, and Hi! 

I can’t believe how quickly my babies seem to be growing up. I can’t wait to see what they do tomorrow!

Love, hugs and more to come later!