My friends are very important to me. There are a few people that I hold near and dear to me and I would be devastated if they were no longer in my life. There are a few people who have been there for me through thick and thin for a long time. And even though I may not talk to those people on a daily basis, I know if I needed them they would be there. And if they need me I am there for them.
J is someone I have known since I was 16. He is a great person. He has jumped through hoops for his career and is making an amazing life for himself. He is also single. And I know this bothers him. A lot. So, I want to take some time and write a short letter to him and anyone else who needs a boost.
First off, you are an amazing person. There are very few single guys who wouldn’t get annoyed at listening to me rant about my horrible mommy days. (Or maybe you do get annoyed, but you don’t show it!) I seriously mean it. You are amazing. Out there somewhere is an equally amazing person you are meant to spend your life with. You haven’t found her yet, or maybe you have and you just haven’t realized it. But that’s okay. It really is. I know you get lonely, and I know you want to settle down and have a family. But, it’s okay if that doesn’t happen today, tomorrow or even next week.
Take your time. Don’t settle for someone just because you want what being in a relationship signifies. Settle down with someone that you can’t live without. Settle down with someone who brings out the better parts of you. With someone who is okay with your flaws and loves you for them (or even in spite of them). Wait until you find the person who completes you. The person who makes you feel like even your bad days are okay. The person who always knows what to say to make you smile. The person who knows when you let you sulk in silence. The person who knows when all you need is a hug.
Being in a marriage is an amazing thing. Having kids is also amazing. And I know you want those things. But don’t rush yourself. Don’t settle for less then you deserve.
I know the holidays can be hard when you are alone and you are seeing couples and families everywhere. But just because you aren’t in a relationship doesn’t mean you aren’t appreciated by someone. It doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone out there who cares. Those people are still there, they have the title of friend, parent, sibling, cousin.
Somewhere in your future is the person who is going to make all the days of being single worth it.
Also, come visit me sometime, it’s been almost 9 years since I’ve seen you and I miss you.
Love, hugs and more to come later!