Anyone else notice that October is almost over? Anyone else caught totally off guard by this? Or is just me? It could be me.
The last couple of weeks, I have been feeling like myself again. The new birth control pills combined with the multivitamin, combined with being more active combined with a very in depth conversation with hubs have all created a more normal feeling Lynn. It’s a great feeling. I have been more productive, more hands on with the boys, a better wife. You know. Just better. Then I noticed Christmas is coming. And Bitter Lynn started showing herself again.
It’s not that I don’t like Christmas. Quite the opposite. I absolutely love and adore Christmas. I love Christmas shopping (I already have all my lists made, and a good chunk of the shopping done, and the stuff I am making homemade is almost done too!) I love wrapping presents, I love donating whatever I can, I love the stories (ALL holiday stories.) I love decorating, I love being with family, I love the lights, the food, the ambiance of it all. I seriously LOVE Christmas.
It’s the family part that I am struggling with. This year is going to be the second year in a row that we can’t go to Winnipeg to celebrate Christmas with my family. (It’s a $3000 trip, and we just don’t have the money after already having made two trips out this year) And for me this is really really hard for a lot of reasons.
First off, it’s my family. My parents, brothers, aunt, uncles, grandparents, cousins etc that I won’t get to see and celebrate with. I am very close to my family and me living out here has been hard. I hate not being able to spend the holidays with them.
Now. Staying in New Brunswick shouldn’t be that bad. Hubs family is all here. But, if you remember, they tend to pick favorites among my kids. (You can read about that here if you missed it) And I hate it. Alex’s birthday is 4 days after Christmas. He is going to be three guys! THREE!!!… Anyways. His birthday is 4 days after Christmas and last year he got some of his birthday gifts with his Christmas gifts. This pisses me right off. His birthday and Christmas are TWO DIFFERENT HOLIDAYS. But that isn’t really my point. If the people who didn’t acknowledge Nick’s first birthday are going to acknowledge Alex’s third birthday I am going to lose my mind. It’s not that I don’t want Alex to be celebrated, but I want ALL my kids to be celebrated by their family. It’s not about the birthday gifts. It’s about acknowledging your grandchild. (Or niece/nephew) Have I mentioned that none of Hubs brothers have met Zoey? Yea. Why do I want to spend the holidays with these people? Unfortunately, I have no choice but to put on a smile and pretend it’s all rainbows and butterflies. I got my way with not seeing his family at Thanksgiving and I am not even going to attempt to dissuade Hubs from seeing his family at Christmastime. It’s not like we actually see them Christmas Eve or Christmas Day anyways. They are far too busy those days for us.
I am trying not to let those feelings overpower the excitement I normally have about Christmas. After all, Alex is old enough now to REALLY GET IT and Nick is getting there. And it’s Zoey’s first Christmas! Our home is going to be full of warmth and love! And Christmas crafts!! We just did some pretty awesome Halloween ones that I am going to post tomorrow or the next day!
If you have any ideas for Preschool/Toddler friendly Christmas crafts I would LOVE to hear them! (I can’t believe I am calling Alex a preschooler!)
Love, hugs and more to come later!