A bit of a Rant

First off, I know. I JUST posted. But I really wanted to finish up the Breastfeeding Project I start. And now I really just need a place to vent. And since I started this blog for me first, I feel safe venting here. If you don’t want to read it, I won’t be offended. 

Yesterday I decided to do a double workout. I did 2 one hour classes, back to back with a one hour break in between. It was insane!

The first was a Bellyfit class. In the first half hour of the class, burn mega calories, relieve stress and get the sweat flowing with fun, easy to learn cardio moves infused with the ancient and beautiful fundamentals of Belly Dance, Bollywood and African Dance. During the second half of the class, enjoy sculpting, toning and tightening with Pilates inspired core work, a deep yet relaxing Yoga inspired stretch and mindful Mudra Meditation. 

The second was a Zumba Class. Zumba involves dance and aerobic elements. Zumba’s choreography incorporates hip-hop, soca, samba, salsa, merengue, mambo, martial arts, and some Bollywood and belly dance moves. Squats and lunges are also included. 

It was pretty intense. Today my calf muscles are the only thing that hurts. But they hurt baaaaaad. I decided that I am probably going to commit to doing Zumba twice a week and not do the double workout anymore. At least not right now! 

Yesterday after I finished Zumba, I was talking to the instructor about the class and asking some questions (this is where the ranting part comes in) She asked me if I had enjoyed the class. I answered that yes, I had. I had been doing Zumba before I got pregnant and I was glad to be getting back into it. Of course this led to talking about the ages of our kids, and this is when a friend of mine, we’ll call her Z decided to involve herself in the conversation and state that I wouldn’t be doing Zumba long, as I would be pregnant before Christmas. 

I want to point out here, that based on the spacing of the three kids, if I was having a fourth, Christmas would be the right timing. 

I also want to point out, I have told this friend on more than one occasion we have decided we don’t want a fourth child. 

Than, I am going to point out, this isn’t the first or even the second time she has said something along these lines. It’s constant. 

It bugs me. It makes me feel invalidated and quite honestly, I am sick and tired of hearing peoples comments on the fact I have three kids. And I am tired of people asking me if I am going to have a fourth. And when I say no, I am sick of hearing ‘but don’t you want to have a second girl?’ Um… correct me if I am wrong, but the last time I checked, I don’t get to pick the gender of the baby. 

Maybe it’s just me. But I am seriously struggling with the the constant comments about people expecting me to be pregnant again before Christmas. And right now I am trying to find a diplomatic way to explain this to said friend. 

If you have any ideas, please please please share them! 

Love, hugs, and more to come later!

10 thoughts on “A bit of a Rant

  1. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. It sucks to have someone so completely disregard your plans and feelings for the sake of a comment. The only thing I would suggest (and I have no idea what I’m talking about, so take it as you will) is a candid conversation. Let her know how you feel when she makes those comments. She may have no idea.
    I hope it works out easily and painlessly!

  2. I would just say next time “You have said that a number of times and I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t as it offends me. I have made it clear to you that we aren’t going to have any more babies so pleeeeeeeease don’t joke about it like that. It’s ok if you don’t believe me but I’d appreciate it if you respect what I have said”. Or some such wording. Be clear, forthright but polite. That should knock it on the head. Only you know the person so you should know the correct tone to take. That would totally frustrate me too. Good luck!

  3. ::hugs:: I can understand your frustration.. I got a bit of slack myself when we decided 2 was enough and my husband got a vasectomy.. Even though we’ve told people.. the SAME people keep asking when I’m going to have a third child.. I just tell them we keep trying but it won’t happen 😉 I’d put the friend aside.. and rather than get really into it.. ask why she keeps feeling you’d have a 4th..once people have to put logic to nonsense comments they tend to stop saying it 😉

    • I have asked her why she is so determined I am going to have a fourth. Her reply was something along the lines of history tends to repeat itself and I got pregnant fast after the boys so I would again. And ‘obviously something is going on’ since Hubs and I decided not to go the vasectomy route just yet. Thanks for the advice though! I wish people would just leave us to make our choices! Keep up the trying 😉 Maybe one day it’ll happen for you. Lol.

  4. *Hugs* Lynn.

    I suspect that this friend might just be saying these things playfully and doesn’t know when to stop. However, I think you do need to talk to her about how you feel. I’ve always found that the best way was to talk about how I felt. For instance: “when you say/joke about me having another child, it makes me feel…”. Sometimes, people need to be told how their words are affecting you because they can’t necessarily see the non-verbal or sometimes, they just don’t understand why you are annoyed at what they are saying and so continue.

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