The Meaning of Being Supportive

With World Breastfeeding Week coming up, I have seen more and more on the internet in regards to feeding babies. I have seen two sides. I have seen the side that screams ‘Breast is best! If you don’t feed your baby breastmilk you are doing them a disservice’ Thankfully, those people seem to be less and less common. The other side I see is the side that says ‘Oh you feed your baby breastmilk? Cool. Oh hey, you feed you baby formula? Cool. You combo feed? Cool again.’

Normally I don’t pay too much attention to any of this stuff.  I see it, I let it go. I have been judged for how I feed the kids, but I let it go. Well, seeing it all over the internet/facebook/the news, it has been on my mind a little more.

Yesterday I was out with the kids. We took them to the mall. In the mall there is this cute little play place for the kids to play. Zoey was due for a feeding, so I figured the boys could play and hubs and I could sit on a bench and feed Zoey while we watch them. So I send the boys off to play, and sit down. A few feet to my left is a woman who apparently had the same thought as me. She sent her older child to go play while she breastfed her baby. Seeing her breastfeed bugged me a little bit. Not in the ‘ew that’s disgusting kind of way’ I don’t think breastfeeding is gross in any way, but in the way that I was about to whip out a bottle of water and some powder to mix up some formula for my baby. I was worried she was going to judge me. 

That way of thinking is not like me at all. I am normally the one daring people to judge me. I am normally the one willing to stand up for myself and others. But I was honestly fearful of what this woman that I had never met was going to think about me giving my baby formula. But Zoey was getting fussy so I had no choice but to mix her formula and give her her bottle. I couldn’t make the kids leave the play area. That wouldn’t be fair. Deep breath.

So I pulled out the stuff I needed to make her a bottle. And I prepped it. All while being super careful to avoid eye contact with breastfeeding Momma. Then I picked Zoey up and started feeding her, looking only at her and the boys. Still refusing to make eye contact. Then I hear a voice. ‘I love her headband. Did you make it?’ What?!? Breastfeeding Momma is making conversation with me.. well I can’t be rude… So I answered that I had indeed made it and we talked about crocheting and the different projects each of us had done. Then we talked about our kids. And you know what? It wasn’t awkward. Not even a little bit. It was perfectly fine. Neither of us cared that we were doing things differently. And that ladies and gents, is what being supportive is all about.

i supprtyou

This picture was uploaded onto the End the Mommy Wars group on Facebook by Annie Vorys and I think it is perfect!

Love, hugs and more to come later

Lynn

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8 thoughts on “The Meaning of Being Supportive

  1. I could not be more thrilled with this story of sisterhood! In these moments when we recognize that each person is doing the best thing for their children, we truly come together as women. And no matter what anyone may think, we all NEED each other.

    • Exactly! While I was writing this post I was debating what if any picture I wanted to include and then I remembered seeing the one you made and felt it was perfect for my post! I hope stories like mine can become the norm instead of stories of being judged!

  2. That is exactly how I felt this morning. Except I was the breastfeeder. Every mum should do what they want/need as long as baby’s getting fed, right? Isn’t it odd that we both felt the other option mums would judge us? And no one did!

    • It was actually after reading your post that I decided that I wanted to post this. Before that I was back and forth about actually posting it. It is amazing how afraid we both were. No mom should be anxious about feeding their baby because they fear being judged!

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