The monkey in the middle

I might be over reacting. But I honestly, really and truly don’t think I am. My husband agrees with me. He’s upset to. Granted not as upset as I am, but I’m pregnant and I’m a mom. Of course I’m going to be more upset then he is. Right?

Okay so, so far this post is probably making no sense. So let me start at the beginning and explain exactly WHAT has me so upset. As you are all well aware, we are going to be having baby 3 next month. Currently we have 2 (that’s right everyone we have 2 kids right now although to some this seems to be a foreign concept) Anyways. I’m getting off track again. Let me try this again.

In December 2011 Alex turned one. Everyone was excited. The first grandbaby was turning a year old. He was spoiled. But most importantly the milestone was ACKNOWLEDGED. 

In December 2012 Alex turned two. Again everyone was excited. The first grandbaby was turning two.  He was spoiled. Again, most importantly, the milestone was ACKNOWLEDGED.

So now let’s go to March 2013. Nick turned one. Some people were excited. But some very key people seem to have the forgotten all together about my monkey who drew the straw of being in the middle. And this really pisses me off. It’s not about the presents. It’s not about the cake and the party. But Nick didn’t even get a card, or a happy birthday from some key people who should’ve remembered the milestone.

Now it’s not just the forgotten birthday that has led me to being so annoyed. It’s more then that. It’s a series of events leading up to it. Like back in February when someone who should’ve known better brought presents to the house for the kids and gave the wrapped ones to Alex to open, telling him they were his, and gave the pink stuff she had bought for Zoey to Nick to play with telling him he could play with them ‘until his sister was born’ (when called out on this she said the stuff Alex was opening was for both boys, but let’s face it once you tell a two year old that something is HIS he is not going to share very willingly)

Then there was this past weekend when we were visiting family. In this case it was all about a cookie and a pair of boots. But I was mad enough that we left after a very short visit.  The boys grandmother decided she was going to give Alex a cookie (after I said no, but as a grandparent it’s her right I suppose and I can let that go) When Alex was going to get one for Nick too (we work hard on encouraging Alex to share) she told him ‘oh no, Nick doesn’t need one’ BUT THEN BROUGHT ALEX INTO THE ROOM NICK WAS IN AND LET HIM EAT THE COOKIE IN FRONT OF HIS BROTHER. As for the boots. I guess while they were shopping they seen a cute pair of boots that they decided to buy. The boots however were too small for Alex, which I guess is who they were specifically shopping for since when I said they would likely fit Nick in the fall and they would be perfect for fall weather I was told ‘yes, but I was hoping they would fit Alex’ nothing these people buy is ever with Nick in mind. It’s always Alex (and now seemingly Zoey, since they are super excited about a grand daughter)

Really and truly, maybe I am wrong. But I am really upset that poor Nick seems to be forgotten about when we take the kids to visit certain people.  It’s being treated this way that gives middle children ‘middle child syndrome’ I grew up with 4 younger brothers and there was no sibling rivalry between us. EVER. We were all treated as equals. Which is how I am TRYING to raise my children. But it is really hard when Alex is learning some of his family members favor him over his brother.

Thankfully I’m not crazy and hubs sees this too. Now just to figure out how to deal with it! That’s my rant for the day.

 

Love, hugs and more to come later!

Lynn

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11 thoughts on “The monkey in the middle

    • We have tried addressing it, unfortunately it didn’t resolve anything other than me being told that I was overreacting and I was picking favorites and favoring Nick. Currently that particular person doesn’t see our children very often. And when she does it’s a short and sweet visit.

  1. I’m not even going to go into how wrong I think what the grandmother did with the cookie was!! O_O I’m sorry, people do definitely treat children differently, which they shouldn’t.
    I’ve had issues with family not really interacting with our older child when the next one came along. Opposite problem, but same frustration!

  2. I occasionally feel that way with my mother-in-law. My husband is an only child and she adores our son (the oldest). It is like she’s is reliving her mom days with my husband. But she’s just doesn’t do as much with our daughter or seem as excited about Baby #3. It is really frustrating. Even if grandparents/aunts/uncles have a child the connect with more, they cannot make it apparent to the children. It just isn’t fair to them.

    • It is really frustrating. All three of the kids deserve to know that they are loved by ALL their family. Not made to feel that their sibling is the only loved one.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear that.. you’re a good mommy for standing up for Nick. Maybe give all 3 kids a little space from the important people who aren’t treating them the way they should. That might help give a little perspective to them, and hep your children to know who really is important in their lives. I try to keep my expectations very low and make sure my family knows they are loved.

    • That’s essentially what we decided to do. We don’t see these particular family members very often anymore. We are due to see them in the next couple months when we get home. I think a follow up post will be in order at that time. I’m hoping things get better soon. I would hate to have to start giving these people a piece of my mind!

  4. Pingback: The Monkey in the Middle – 2nd Edition | Momma Needs Coffee

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