My negativity is leaking. I apologize in advance.

Why is it that just when I feel like I am on fire from hot flashes (gee I love being pregnant, I mean who doesn’t enjoy having their body temperature sky rocket out of control randomly so all of a sudden you feel like you are sweating out of every single pore OH and your last hair tie broke so you’re hair is touching your neck and THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT) is the exact moment BOTH of my boys feel the need to cuddle UNDER A QUILT with mommy ‘I cold mom, brr, cuddle?’ (really Alex, you’re cold?!? Maybe if you STOPPED TAKING YOUR CLOTHES OFF you wouldn’t be cold?!?) and fall asleep making me 10,435 times warmer then I already was.

And why can’t I say no when all they want is to cuddle no matter how uncomfortable it makes me?!? Seriously. This whole being a good hands on mom thing kind of sucks sometimes. There are times that I am actually a little envious of moms who can pawn their kids off on someone for days at a time and not feel even a little guilty for it. Mostly when I am tired, headachey and feeling like I am going to spontaneously combust into flames at any given moment. Is it still considered spontaneous if I can anticipate it happening? 

I don’t think it would be as bad if Nick didn’t feel the need to wake up every hour all night. Only after midnight though. Before midnight he sleeps awesome. Which would be good for me if Alex would ever go to sleep before midnight. Which he doesn’t. No matter how tired he is. He will keep himself awake until a couple minutes after midnight and then he will roll over and close his eyes. Sigh. I love my kids. I can’t imagine life without them. And I can’t imagine not being a good mom to them. But sometimes, they can make me a little crazy. Later when they are playing nicely together and I don’t feel as though my parents house has turned into a sauna, I’ll smile and  remember how lucky I am to have them in my life. 

 

Love, hugs and more to come later

Lynn

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